drifting in the open sea

sometimes i really wonder which is more important in life? having a high-paid job but something that you do not enjoy or doing something you like but getting lowly paid for it. i can't really ans that myself at this moment. coz i am not even sure what do i enjoy doing. i have always wondered why am i not born an artist so that i can really draw nice protraits of people and earn a living on the streets. why am i not creative enough to be a fashion designer so that i can design my own clothes, bags or shoes and open my own shop. there are so many why am i not that i start to wonder what can i really do.

some people may think that we are having a high paid job and why are we complaining so much. but i wonder am i really enjoying this job so much that i am going to do this for another 30 years of my life. i really hate to think that i am still going to do this for the many years to come. but again, you will start to wonder can you give up the current lifestyle now and be back to the simple life where you can't buy lv or gucci bags, go on holidays every now and then, go on a shopping spree. oh no, have i started to become materialistic?